Love capsule: What being a mistress of an actor feels like – Times of India

When I see couples walking across the street, I feel a tinge of jealousy over the life I couldn’t have. Flaunting your relationship and proudly showing off your partner to others is something I could never think of having, because of my choices. I let myself drown in sweet pleasures so much that I didn’t realise how tough it was going to be for me.

My choice of being a mistress. And not just any mistress. I was a doll for an actor.

I can never reveal his name to anyone because of the many scandals and news that will surround me. He is famous, dashing and very attractive. He is somewhat of a big name among the stars and I ended up being an assistant to him when I began working on the sets. Life was pretty exciting–shoots, films, parties, everything was so fancy that it sucked me in. That smile drew me into a world of cinema, parties, controversies and eventually…hurt.

When he first lay his eyes on me, I was frozen. As days went by, we began laughing & talking more whenever I helped him with his work. I didn’t realise how close we came to each other until one day, in the vanity van, I tripped over and saw him reach out his hand to me. In the most romantic Bollywood style, he then kissed me and I melted right there in his arms. I was magically drawn to him.

We stole kisses here and there and by night, I had a blast whenever we were alone. His ever-so-charming personality made me fall in love with him. I wanted to tell my friends first but he…forbade me to. He asked me to not utter a word about this as we would get thrashed under the limelight and that he would find the right time to introduce me. The day never came. But that day did come when I got to know from the news that he was seen with another actress recently on a date.

Soon we had a talk and he revealed that he had to put up such a show. We continued with our frisky business where we would forget about the world and only look at each other. This fairy tale didn’t last long as one day he told me about how I would never fit into his world and that his family would never accept me. But he also mentioned that he would love to be with only me, behind closed doors. This only meant one thing, I would be his forever, but only behind closed doors.

I willingly chose to become a mistress. Sex with him was not only mindblowing but completely out of the world. I would see paparazzi photos of him with others but would have to be content being with him most of the nights. I just couldn’t imagine not being with him. Despite knowing that this would only make me weaker, I went on. It has been two years since and I haven’t been in a proper relationship. We only sneakily meet in his apartment or a hotel room. But that time makes me happy. So I am holding onto that for now.

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